How to Get Over a Breakup Fast (Without Dragging It Out)

1) Make the list: why it ended + how she hurt you

Right now your brain is going to lie to you.
It’s going to replay the cute moments. The chemistry. The “we were so close” stuff. And it’s going to skip the part where you felt disrespected, drained, anxious, or never quite solid.

So you need something that doesn’t change with your mood.
Write a list. On paper.

Two sections:

A) Why we broke up.
B) How she hurt me.

And don’t make it polite or “mature.” Make it real.

Examples:

• “She used silence to punish me.”
• “She made me feel like I was always wrong.”
• “She flirted and called me insecure for reacting.”
• “She kept me on a leash with mixed signals.”
• “I kept shrinking to keep the peace.”

Then put that paper somewhere you’ll see it every day.

Here’s the rule: when you start missing her, read the list.

Not to hype yourself up or to hate her. Just to stop the fantasy from taking over.
Because missing her is one thing. Missing the edited version of her is how you waste months.

2) Don’t check her Instagram. Don’t check anything.Checking her socials is not “just looking”

It’s a habit. And habits teach your brain what to obsess over.

Every time you do this:

think of her → check her → feel something → get pulled back in
you’re building a loop you’ll have to break later.

And you’re not even getting the real story. You’re getting the version she wants people to see. Which means you’ll either:

• see her looking happy and feel replaced, or
• see nothing and start inventing stories, or
• see something vague and spiral.

None of it helps.

So don’t check. At all.

If you catch yourself about to do it, don’t “use willpower.” Just interrupt it:

• put your phone down
• stand up
• walk to the bathroom
• drink water
• do ten pushups
• do anything physical

You’re trying to stop training your brain to stay attached.

3) Change your environment fast (trip if you can, switch your routine if you can’t)

If you can travel, travel.
If you can’t, change the environment anyway.

Same streets, same coffee shop, same gym time, same apartment setup — it keeps your brain in the same groove. And that groove is filled with reminders.

Also: traveling actually does something to your brain. New places force your attention outward. You spend less time stuck in your head. Sleep shifts. You move more. You get hit with new sights and sounds instead of the same emotional triggers.

So:

• go somewhere for a long weekend
• take a work trip you’ve been avoiding
• visit a friend in another city
• even a different neighborhood counts if it forces you out of your usual loop

And yes — don’t go to “your” places together. That’s like walking into a bar where you got punched and acting surprised it still stings.

4) Pick up a new hobby (something that changes how you act)

Not a hobby you already kind of do. Not “I’ll watch YouTube about it.”
A real new thing that makes you show up differently.

Because after a breakup, two things matter:

• something that takes up space in your schedule
• something that gives you a new identity hook

Something that makes you sweat, focus, or be around other humans.
It doesn’t have to be impressive. It has to be different.

The point is simple: when life stays the same, the choices stay the same. Change the inputs and you start acting like a different man.

Pick one. Commit for 30 days. Put it on the calendar like a meeting.
If your hobby doesn’t pull you out of your head, pick a better hobby.

5) Ask this question: “If this breakup was an upgrade, what would have to change?”

This is the only “mindset” thing in here, and it’s not soft.

Ask yourself:
If this breakup was an upgrade for me, how would my life change so it’s actually true?

Then answer it for real.
Not “I’d be happier” or “I’d find love again”

Concrete stuff.

• “I’d start going out with guys I like and enjoy myself.”
• “I’d spend time playing that playstation she hated.”
• “I’d get my body back.”
• “I’d meet all these cute girls in the club.”

Then pick ONE thing from your answer and act on it today.
Because action is what starts separating your life from the relationship. That’s what creates actual distance.

One last thing

You don’t need a magical breakthrough. You need to stop doing the things that keep the breakup alive.
Read the list. Stop checking. Change the environment. Do something new. Build the “upgrade” in real life.
If you don’t want to do it alone, click the link and send me a quick “hi” on WhatsApp. We’ll talk and see if coaching with me is the right next step.